A little affirmation goes a long way these days. I started thinking about this when I sent an email to my physical therapist saying “see you tomorrow when I pay you to tell me how awesome I am.” Kids love it, dogs love it, and, I'm here to tell you, type-A triathletes especially love a little pat on the back every once in a while.

We're surrounded by paid-for affirmation and advice. We pay doctors to tell us to rest up and recover. We pay gyms to tell us that we need to lose just a few more inches with the latest zumba class. We pay bartenders to tell us that everything is going to be all right after one more glass of wine. Do we need all this? Are we truly benefiting from this so-called expert advice? And why do we need to pay someone to tell us what we probably already know?

I'm learning that being an effective coach goes beyond receiving a monthly check for services rendered.

I'm experiencing this now with a couple of athletes I'm coaching for Longhorn 70.3. They pay me. I detail their plan, and they follow it to perfection. I give them the much-deserved “atta boy,” and all is well, right? If only it were that simple. We had a “B” race scheduled last week and one of them sent me an email saying he felt really tired and sore from all the training. My original plan was to have him train through the race, but his email made me doubt my strategy. Had I been working him too hard? Did I ramp up too much too soon? Probably not. I think it was mostly the shock of having a real training regime to follow. In the same way that starting a new job is overwhelming, I think he was just getting used to his new “job” of serious triathlon training. I adjusted the schedule slightly since I didn't want him going into the race feeling flat. The next day, I got an email from him thanking me and saying his rest day did wonders. He was feeling better and ready to take whatever I was willing to give.

Did this athlete really need my expert opinion to tell him to take a rest day? Maybe, and that's why he's paying me. He knows I have his best interests at heart because his success is ultimately my success. I'm quickly learning that being an effective coach goes well beyond simply receiving a monthly check for services rendered. It's a partnership with mutual benefits and tremendous learning potential. Fortunately, many see this value and enthusiastically pay for it. After all, we all need someone to grant us permission to rest on occasion. We all need someone to affirm and encourage us when we can't do it ourselves. We all want someone to tell us how awesome we're doing, regardless of the cost.

This week I learned the importance of communication and feedback. I would've felt horrible if my trainee had remained silent and gone into the race feeling terrible. That would've more than likely translated into a poor performance and a poor opinion of my leadership capabilities. Instead, he let me know how he felt, we made adjustments, and he performed amazingly on race day.

The leaders in the athletic industry show us that the best of the best have coaches. Michael Phelps has a swim coach. Tiger Woods has a golf coach (and he probably needs a life coach!) LeBron James, despite his egoism, has a basketball coach. We pay people to tell us how we’re doing because it empowers us to succeed. The better we feel, the more we respect ourselves and those around us. That is what real affirmation is all about, not just empty praise.

I was so proud of these guys after the race and stressed what an amazing day they had. Perhaps I told them what they already knew: That a little effort, discipline, and accountability pays big dividends -- one huge affirmation I'm glad they're paying to receive.