Is it a devilish coincidence that my customized 2010 Ford Ironman Arizona training plan calls for 666 hours worth of workouts?

Stephanie, my fiancée, might not think so. To be fair, she’s been saintly when it comes to supporting the journey towards my first Ironman. This often means several sacrifices on her part, like spending time apart during the weekend while I train for seven hours, or stocking up on healthier, sometimes less tasty and usually more expensive food for the house. Or how about standing around for several hours on race day after waking up well before the sun rises, just to glimpse me in the transition area?

Without our partner’s blessing, the stress and guilt associated with long workout hours can take a physical and mental toll.

Stephanie isn’t the only person making these kinds of sacrifices. As triathletes, we must never forget that while we race alone or as part of a team, our most important teammates are the ones in the stands on race day or toiling at home with our children while we train. 

Without our partner’s blessing, the stress and guilt associated with long workout hours can take a physical and mental toll. So how do we ensure that our loved ones remain supportive of what can become a very selfish pursuit? 

“It can be difficult for your significant other to understand why all the dedication (to triathlon),” said Dr. Dana Parry-Erickson, a Southern California-based psychological assistant and runner. “Using effective communication throughout the process of your training regimen can hopefully lead to your partner being just as excited to watch you race as you are to participate.”

When the starting gun goes off at Ironman Arizona in November, I’ll have competed in 10 endurance races this season. That’s 10 pre-dawn wake-up calls on which Stephanie has eagerly accompanied me. With all this experience, here are three things I’ve learned about how to maintain a heavenly relationship in the midst of a hellish training schedule.

Communicate Your Goals

Before I signed up for Arizona, I made sure to discuss the commitment with Stephanie in full detail almost a year in advance. We talked about the races I wanted to enter for the upcoming season, the dedication and sacrifices required to achieve such a big goal, some of the costs, and whether it was something Stephanie could actively support. Knowing I could count on her from the onset has made a huge psychological difference in my ability to train as hard as I have.

Agreeing on goals beforehand is critical, but communicating your training schedule is perhaps even more important. To do that, Stephanie and I pass a digital calendar back and forth every month with key events marked off.  Michael Byerts, a 33-year-old triathlete, posts his weekly training schedule for his girlfriend on the refrigerator in their Santa Monica, Calif., residence. “That way, your three-hour ride on Saturday isn’t a surprise,” he said.

Plan Together

It’s very easy to compete at the same races year in and year out. We know the course. We know where to shave time. We know that secret parking spot that will give us 15 more minutes of sleep. But think about your partner for a moment. What’s in it for her if she has to go back to the same spot over and over? Unless that same spot incorporates a hobby she loves, or friends and family she can visit. 

Professional triathlete Caleb Sponholtz tries to incorporate his wife’s love of wine into his race calendar, circling events in Central and Northern California such as Wildflower and Vineman. “I can train on the courses there with confidence and know the training is still worthwhile, while at the same time satisfying the R&R side of things for my wife,” Sponholtz said. 

I’ll be doing the same with Stephanie in future races. Next season, we’re going to select a cycling road race for me in a location she’d like to visit, while in 2012 we’ll be choosing together which international Ironman event I’ll compete at as it will also serve as a vacation destination.

Share the Experience

Perhaps the best-case scenario is having a partner or family member who enjoys training or racing with you. Some of my most memorable workouts this entire year have included Stephanie running alongside me, even if it’s only for a few blocks. I found myself rejuvenated and excited to share my passion instead of merely talking (or blogging) about it. Not to mention breaking up the monotony of covering the same training course alone. The key to Stephanie joining me was convincing her that even if she couldn’t quite maintain my pace, she was helping me nonetheless.

Amy Berkin-Chavez, 45, is part of a family of triathletes. Her husband runs marathons and her 15-year-old daughter is winning age-group triathlons. While this scenario may seem ideal, Berkin-Chavez has learned that making triathlon a family affair brings its own set of challenges. “Keeping your spouse happy is far more rewarding in the long run than a high from a PR that you might not achieve,” said Berkin-Chavez, who finds time to lead a group swim most Sundays for the Los Angeles Triathlon Club. “The key is getting your spouse involved one way or another and knowing when to step back from racing to let them decide weekend plans instead of planning around training.”

Sharing the experience can even mean volunteering together at races where neither partner is participating. Though that’s especially challenging for three-time ITU World Championship competitor Rosalind Jarrett, 62, and her companion, six-time Ironman and four-time Team USA Aquathlon member Lamar Sepulveda, 53. The accomplished Los Angeles couple will have participated in more than 35 races combined in 2010. They also have managed to volunteer and host pro triathletes in their home such as 2008 ITU World Cup champion, Samantha Warriner. Doing so has put their training idiosyncrasies in place. “You realize your sweetheart doesn’t train that much after all,” Jarrett said.

Follow this trinity of communication, planning, and sharing your triathlon experience with your partner, and you just might achieve relationship nirvana. If all else fails, you can always be a little deviant and invite a pro triathlete over to shake things up a bit.

Ryan Schneider is a Los Angeles-based triathlete who blogs almost daily about his journey toward the 2010 Ford Ironman Arizona. Visit Schneider’s blog at www.ironmadman.com or follow him on Twitter (@theironmadman).